You know the answer...
One of my clients wanted to make a big decision this week.
Current job - stay or go.
A lot of people are feeling stuck and uncertain which direction to take. That's something I went through a couple of years ago and I expect you can relate too.
So why are people feeling stuck? Typically it's because they've stopped listening to themselves.
Initially, they would have had a niggling feeling that something was off, something was not quite right. We get that feeling about people, situations, jobs etc. We often refer to this as gut instinct.
But with the clamour of noise in the modern world and strong preference in corporate for left brain thinking, our brains are overriding our gut instinct to the point we can no longer hear it. We're told we need to be logical and think things through. Get the data, critically assess it and make a sensible decision.
This is wholly useful for bankers making lending decisions, lawyers checking drafting terms, accountants running the P&L etc. So I'm not saying skip logical thinking.
But what we do need is for that logical brain to be quiet every now and again. Because:
- our gut often has a useful perspective we should listen to - it gives us clues (e.g. don't walk down that dark alley) for a reason
- we have a tendency to 'over think' or get caught in looping thought patterns
- sometimes the sensible answer won't make you happy
So going back to my client, she'd been ignoring the warning signs her gut had been sharing. Her gut was saying: they're not treating you well, they don't understand the value you bring, they're setting unreasonable objectives, they're trying to change your personality to fit the firm...
Her head was saying: I haven't been here long enough to quit, maybe I'm building this up into more of an issue than it is, maybe they didn't mean to be unreasonable, I just need to deliver more.
= stuck.
How did we resolve the situation? I asked her a series of questions, approaching it from different angles, asking questions that required logic and questions that required feeling. Then when she was relaxed and had been listened to, I asked 'Do you want to stay at this firm?'
Her response was no.
She was shocked. She didn't expect to have the answer. She'd been stressed about this and stuck in a circular stay/ go thinking loop for a couple of weeks. And certainly didn't expect it to appear confidently and easily in one conversation. She resigned and will soon be in a role deserving of her ability.
That's how simple it can be. If you've got a niggle - listen to it!
If you're uncertain, hit reply and I'll help you work it out. Listen to your brain AND your gut.
