How to challenge people, well
To get the best outcomes, it helps to be able to challenge people constructively with regular feedback. This will boost diverse thinking, encourage people to consider multiple perspectives and make for more robust, well considered decision making. But challenging feedback can also be received badly. It can feel like criticism and negativity when done poorly.
I expect we've all experienced both, and as many of us are in leadership roles, it serves us to build the capability to do it well.
Here are some points I see working well for my senior clients, that I think can be widely applied:
1) Pick your language carefully based on your knowledge of the individual/ audience. Some examples to try:
- “Thanks for sharing your view, I have another perspective to add”
- “If we look at it from a [customer/ shareholder/ different stakeholder] perspective, we could get a different answer here”
- “Are there any other options we can consider? How about…”
2) When you feel you need to, be clear and bold. For example:
“I disagree because...”
3) Remember that challenging someone doesn't have to be done aggressively. For example: I'm a challenging coach, but I choose to challenge with kindness and speak up if I think it's in the best interests of the client.
4) Get agreement to make challenge. Share at the start of particular meetings or one-on-one’s that you'll be giving feedback. Get agreement that the person is ready to receive it, and to take it a step further you can also ask how they like to receive challenge. What's the best way someone has landed challenging feedback with them in the past?
5) Where practical, prepare in advance. Make sure you have an opinion and mentally rehearse how it might feel to be on the receiving end of that feedback.
I hope this helps you to be bolder with your ideas, share feedback and challenge the status quo. You can be challenging within your own authentic style - try the tips that resonate and discard the ones that don't. I’m interested to hear how this lands with you and where you're choosing to be more challenging this week.
P.S. It is totally possible to challenge people and for it to land well. It can require effort and skill to achieve this - interested to hear what advice you'd add to these 5 tips.
P.P.S. There's 2 ways you can currently work with me: 1) a 2 hour breakthrough NLP session 2) a 4 session coaching programme over 2 months. All phone based. When you're ready, hit reply and we'll agree which approach best serves your goal.
