On being perfectly imperfect

How do you feel about being imperfect? I thought I had reconciled this idea and was no longer striving for perfection, but it turns out I was wrong.

I can think of lots of situations where I'm relaxed about being imperfect; like when trying a new recipe on a group of friends only for it to go wrong, or trying to draw a picture and it looking rubbish. Perfectionism, or more accurately striving for it, had me heading towards corporate burnout in my 20's, and it took effort to create new thoughts, habits and behaviours to change this.

So I thought I'd gotten over the old feeling I had of needing to do a great job all the time - until it reared it's head again last week.

I was on a training course (more coaching training of course) where the format was to 1) learn a technique, then 2) practice by coaching a peer and 3) get feedback from an observer.

And an odd thing was happening; as I was practising, I realised that my usual engaging and energetic coaching style had disappeared. I was so focussed on getting the technique exactly 'right' in front of the group, that my coaching became LESS impactful. I switched off my intuition.

Earlier in the day our trainer had asked for permission to be imperfect as she taught us and used a Japanese phrase 'wabi sabi' (perfectly imperfect). She explained that group agreement on this point would help her relax and deliver her best, with less pressure. And that’s when the penny dropped. My coaching had gone out of whack because I was obsessed with delivering the technique perfectly.

I hadn't 'fixed' my perfectionism , here it was in plain sight. As the coach in a coaching relationship, I felt I needed to be perfect for the client. But actually I would have been role modelling a redundant ideal AND it would have cost me absolute focus on the client.

I share this story, not because my story is necessarily your story, but to tell you being perfectly imperfect is slippery. When you think you've cracked it, it can come back in different guises to teach you another lesson.

So the action for this week is to check in with your own perfectionism. Is it at a healthy level? Are you ok with being imperfect?

P.S.  Perfection can be costly in various ways. Check in with yours - how can you cope with a higher level of 'imperfect' in your life? The reward is greater impact.

P.P.S.  There's 2 ways you can currently work with me: 1) a 2 hour breakthrough NLP session or 2) a 4 session coaching programme over 2 months. All phone based. When you're ready, hit reply and we'll agree which approach best serves your goal.