You know you get frustrated at work, but have you ever asked why?
When we get triggered at work, it's worth understanding the underlying cause. The better our self awareness, the more we can adjust our environment and relationships for positive outcomes.
But what do I mean by triggered? Some examples could be:
You get chased to complete something ahead of the deadline, when you already had it in hand
You find out the presentation you spent hours curating will no longer go to Board as they have a different priority
Your colleague gives you some unexpected constructive feedback in front of a group of peers.
These are just a few examples that could create a reaction, the point is that you're aware of some of the moments that trigger you. What you're really looking for is an ‘over’ reaction. Because reading that list, all those things could initially spark irritation for me, but I'm able to reframe to positivity pretty quickly and (hopefully) keep my facial expression fairly serene.
For example, an important value of mine is integrity. So when this comes under threat it can trigger an over reaction in me - leading me to respond more directly/loudly than is perhaps necessary. If I believe someone is treating others unfairly, being disrespectful or saying one thing but doing another - that all goes straight to the root of my integrity value and I'm more likely to over react. I lose my impulse control.
This is useful in some ways. Having boundaries for acceptable and unacceptable behaviour is a good thing, and asserting my opinion and what's important to me is another good thing. But delivering that message in an irritated or angry tone isn't.
So as my awareness around my personal values, triggers and reactions has increased, I'm better able to catch myself in the moment and make a CHOICE. Sometimes I will respond powerfully (and passionately) and sometimes I will take a more measured approach. The key is I'm choosing vs. letting it just happen.
Whilst this scenario is specific to me, I want you to think about you.
What do you already know about your personal values?
What environments, people, situations are congruent with your values?
On the flip side, what environments challenges your values?
How do you respond when your values are triggered?
Are you content with that reaction or do you want to come across differently?
As we get more fatigued in the run up to a Christmas break, get a little fed up of spending so much time at home, feel pressured by year end deadlines, we're all likely to be more fallible than usual. Knowing our triggers and making choices mean we can navigate these moments more gracefully.
I’m interested to hear more about your personal values - what are they and how do they show up? Hit comment and let me know.
P.S. Knowing your personal values is empowering. It gives you great insight into why you behave the way you do. Raising self awareness also means your values can support you in a positive way, even in the heat of the moment.
P.P.S. There's 2 ways you can currently work with me:
1) A two hour breakthrough NLP session
2) A one-to-one-coaching programme over 4 weeks. All phone based.
When you're ready, email me and we'll agree which approach best serves your goal.
