What saying no to chocolate has taught me about willpower

My willpower isn’t that strong. I’ll have an idea like exercising more, drinking less, eating healthily and then, in the moment, make the more fun choice. But there’s something has changed.

The doctor recently recommended I should go dairy free, as my baby may have an intolerance. I LOVE cheese and chocolate so this was pretty distressing news! Plus, dairy seems to be in everything I pick up so it’s even harder to abstain from it. And yet...I’m doing it.

Why is my willpower suddenly working where it never has before? I think it’s because I’m not really testing my willpower at all. What I’ve done instead is make dairy free non negotiable. I don’t give myself a choice.

I notice the thought ‘I want a Lindt chocolate bunny,’ and rather than fantasise about it and behave impulsively, I remember it’s non negotiable. And my brain simply moves on! I sigh to myself and rummage for an alternative snack.

It’s struck me that this is an amazing opportunity to use this new insight elsewhere in my life too. It’s a powerful reminder that I can change my behaviour overnight - if I decide to.

Here's the steps to move through:

1) Think of an example where you've behaved as if something is non negotiable (like my example above). It could be a current example or something from your past.

2) Embody that feeling of 'non negotiable'. Remember what it feels like in your body (e.g. a sense of certainty), what you were thinking, feeling, saying, doing.

3) Decide where else in your life you want to be non-negotiable. Bring confidence to that scenario that you know if it's truly non negotiable you'll get the outcome you want. Embody that feeling in this new context.

Interested to hear how you apply this - flip the switch in your brain and make something non negotiable in your life. Tell me if you see a change!