Dealing with conflict at work
One thing that impacts how we deal with conflict in the workplace, is how we were initially taught to respond to conflict in childhood.
Some things you may have been told:
- Be quiet, children should be seen and not heard
- I’m in charge here, do what I say
- Do what I say, not what I do
- Grow up, stop over reacting
- Don’t let them see you weak
If we have these rattling around in our unconscious mind then we’re going to struggle with challenge. The training I see being used for dealing with challenges if often a ‘strategy-only’ approach, for example, only talking about a win win outcome, adapting your style, or understanding conflicting personality types.
But there’s another level to this that requires higher self awareness and an understanding that how we view the world is impacted by deeply rooted old beliefs.
So here’s some steps you can take to shake up those old beliefs and put your new frame of mind to use in dealing with conflict:
1. Write down what you believe about conflict
2. Cross out any beliefs that are unhelpful/ outdated
3. Write new beliefs that will help you manage conflict adult-adult. Mentally rehearse these.
It’s possible to make progress with this on a logical level using these steps, but using Neuro Linguistic Programming to re-wire your thinking could create deeper change in your behaviour. If you’re interested in this let me know as I’m considering running a short workshop teaching this NLP technique 🤓
