Giving better feedback

Constructive criticism, particularly if it’s a surprise, triggers your fight/ flight response.

It puts your body on high alert for danger (even though it’s danger to the ego, not physical self).⁣

When your sympathetic nervous system is triggered your brain narrows its focus to what is needed to survive. When this activity is narrowed you have less access to useful parts of the brain that help you interpret information and emotions and store what’s useful.

Does this mean constructive criticism is pointless and never lands well?

No I don’t think so.

I think it just needs to be delivered with care. If you want people to listen and learn, you need to keep them calm.

Try incorporating these points into your feedback next time:

- Focus on very specific positives. They will adjust their behaviour to do more of this, which will naturally counter less positive elements.

- Create rapport before giving feedback- check they’re receptive and want feedback before sharing.

- WAIT until they’ve calmed down after key presentations/ meetings. If their adrenaline is riding high after a high pressure situation they’re not listening to you.