I can tell what you're thinking...

...You're thinking 'she doesn't know what I'm thinking'....was I right?!

That's just a clue about this weeks blog topic ;)

I expect you've heard before that most of our communication is via body language and tone of voice, with words only accounting for c7% of our impact.

I have seen this from a new perspective this week. I've been on an NLP course (neuro linguistic programming)and qualified as a practitioner to add to my coaching tool kit to support my clients. 
 

If 93% of our communication is non-verbal, this means that people who are paying attention can read your mind.

If I watch you interacting in a couple of different environments, I would get a good baseline for your non-verbal communication and I could start to guess whether you mean what you say (eye movement cues alone are fascinating).

Why is this of interest to you in business?

It means you could accidentally reveal you believe peoples hopes and dreams are unrealistic.

I expect you mentor colleagues and share advice with friends. If one of them comes up with a bold idea like they want a big promotion, this is going to trigger a reaction in you.

It triggers your belief system, which could include 'they're young to be going for promotion', 'I'm not sure that role is going to suit them', 'more senior roles come with stress'. This is your map of the world, not theirs.

You 'leak' your beliefs through your non verbal responses. I'm sure many of you think you have a good poker face, or that you give balanced advice, but today I'm warning you that your non-verbal communication is giving you away. They will sense your fears for them.

So how do we get around this? Take responsibility for working on your own limiting beliefs. 

If you have any of the limiting beliefs outlined above (or others!), and you no longer want them, you can change them. Notice them, and re-frame the thought into it's positive opposite. For example 'promotions are always possible'. 

If you want to get rid of an old belief entirely, I know NLP techniques that can do this. Drop me a line if you'd like to talk about it. To big dreams!