Managing other people's opinions

Everyone has an opinion on your career. Some are more vociferous than others.

So it makes sense to learn when to look for guidance and when to tune out the dissenting voices.

A couple of groups that often have the most impact on how you perceive your career - friends and family.

Family - particularly parents, are interesting ones to manage. They want you to be successful, but of course havetheir own map of the world and definition of success. Their definition does not need to be your definition, but I appreciate their opinion is hard to shake.

I know lawyers in their 40's who struggle with the idea of leaving law, because their parents are immensely proud that their son/ daughter is a lawyer. This isn't unique and it isn't only a problem for younger generations.

We don't want to let our parents down, however old we are.

Often though, we make assumptions about how our parents will react to the news we want to quit and be a florist or a bee keeper. Whilst there will be some fretting about the stability of your new career choice (remember their generation/ the one before had a 'jobs for life' mentality) they want you to be happy. 

So my top tip is to think about what you're going to say before you say it. If you know your parents will overreact to this news, phrase it carefully! You know what to say to reassure them better than I do - typically they'll want to know the new option provides you with enough security, it's low risk, it's a pay rise or promotion (yes they still talk to their friends about you) and/ or it's what you really want.

Friends are a different matter and often have a different kind of influence over your career decisions. 

You may spend more time with your friends than family, so it could make this group more powerful. You likely have a typical role within your friendship group - changing jobs can change the dynamic. Friends will have a label for you that you'll disrupt.

One particular point to watch out for with friends is level of ambition/ drive. It's possible that your floor is their ceiling. That's ok.

Not everyone will be as bold as you with career moves. Two things - 1) don't stamp on their ceiling, celebrate where they're at and what makes them happy and 2) don't let them limit you either. You're allowed different ambitions.

So whilst it's great to have the support of friends and family, and listen to their opinions and advice. It's important to know your own mind and protect your energy. 


I hope that helps you manage some of the most important people in your life! Interested to hear if these communication challenges resonate with you.